Frustrated Strikers Prediction Corner: Michael Owen Edition

Michael Owen, 2009-10 Season:

8 games (+11 substitute appearances), 5 goals, 3 assists.

Injuries:

Hamstring strain: Owen comes on in the 67th minute for Berbatov in United's season opener against Birmingham City.  He comes off 6 minutes later after twisting awkwardly under a challenge from Liam Ridgewell.  He battles for fitness for the next two months.

Sprained toe: On his return against Liverpool, Owen scores United's opener.  However, in the 39th minute, he gets stepped on by Mascherano and doesn't return after halftime (replaced by Nani).  Misses 2 weeks.

Scurvy: Following a good run in the team (2 goals and an assist in 3 starts and 4 substitute appearances), Owen celebrates by taking a trip on the 7 seas as Christmas approaches.  He returns with scurvy and misses United's Boxing Day fixture.  He returns to the bench at Wigan on Dec. 28th but spends most of the game eating oranges on the bench.

Deep thigh bruise: Owen receives a shock call up from Fabio Capello in mid-February but is forced to withdraw from the squad after bumping into Ashley Cole during a light running drill.  He misses a month.  Alex Ferguson takes the opportunity to deride international friendlies.

Temporary Zombieism: After a dismal run of form, Owen is left off the teamsheet for a critical April fixture at Old Trafford against Chelsea.  However, Owen enters the field in the 7th minute looking dazed and confused.  He picks up the ball at the halfway line and wallops it past Petr Cech from 45 yards.  As officials attempt to escort him from the field, Owen bites Howard Webb on the neck, leading to Webb becoming a zombie.  United are fined 100m pounds for failing to control their (zombie) players.

Broken Metatarsal: Owen breaks a bone in his foot in the final game of the season at Stoke City.  Everyone's reaction:  "Well, what did we expect?"

After the season, the Guardian breaks the story of the year: Ferguson signed Owen to replace Saha, says "I missed having a striker who was ALWAYS on the training table."

Could They? Might They? (or the Delusions of a Chelsea Fan)

It's been a good day for delusional Chelsea fans everywhere. Why? See below:

1. I think Cristiano Ronaldo's god-pater is my new best friend.

"I believe that he has decided he is going to Real Madrid but he is not going to say so until after the European Championship."

His mom is pretty cool too:

"Madrid is my team, the best team in the world, and I'd like him to go there. I love Madrid and I would go and live with him."

Look, I want to like Cristiano Ronaldo. He's pretty unconditionally awesome. I just might cheer for Portugal in Euro 2008. But when he puts on a United Jersey, I can't help but hope that he breaks both his legs. And arms. And neck.

If he went to Madrid, I'd be excited. I like Real Madrid. Let me rephrase that--I have no reason not to like Real Madrid. We haven't met them in the Champions League in recent memory, they haven't taken any of our players or targets of consequence (I'm looking at you Arjen Robben), they're sworn enemies of Barcelona with whom Chelsea have some bad blood. So all pretty good, right? He could go to Madrid, be the best player in the world, score tons and tons and tons of goals and I could be like, "Aw, shucks, Ronaldo. You're so cheeky and fun!" It would be awesome. I'd be a little bummed not to get to see him every week but, you know, he might just be enough to convince me to get Gol TV.

Needless to say, signing the best player in the world would be a pretty good signing for Real. It would probably end the Madrid careers of at least a couple of guys. I can't see both Robinho and Baptista staying on (and getting playing time) with Ronaldo around. Even Drenthe might be in trouble.

I'm not even going to let the silent fear of what Sir Alex Ferguson could do with 50-80m pounds enter my mind. This is too exciting.

2. I've already blogged about Mourinho coming home to Stamford Bridge. I can't think of anyone better for the job. Mancini isn't proven in Europe. Rijkard is out of vogue. Ladrup is too inexperienced (and has fallen completely out of the frame). Big Phil Scolari is untested in club football. Guus is old. Mark Hughes has no European experience. Roy Keane used to play for United. Is there no one else?

Yes there is. There's this good looking Portugese I know. He's snarky, he argues with children, all he does is win. His name is Jose Mourinho and he is awesome. If there's one advantage he has over all the rest, it is his ability to keep this squad together. It seems increasingly likely that Lamps is following Drogba out the door and heading quickly for Mourinho-land. Goodbye 35 goals a year. Mourinho could unite the core of the squad we already have and would likely be given enough of a budget to go after targets to plug the few remaining holes (probably Eto'o or McCarthy, maybe a winger with Malouda going out the door, a new keeper as cover for Cech). The one dealing that has already been done must have made Mourinho smile: Bosingwa is a Portugese who used to play at FC Porto--is there a more Mourinho buy than that?

Now, if it were just me, I'd dismiss it. But Chelsea Blog agrees. Come on Jose. Make my summer. Please.

Among Chelsea fans, there also seems to be growing support for Martin O'Neill. He seems like Diet Jose to me--still very fiery and entertaining and seems to have great control over the training ground. He surely has earned a shot at a big club and, if we can't have Mourinho, I'd love to be the club to give him that shot.

So Ronaldo, go. Mourinho, come. It's really very simple.

I'm Calling Your Bullshit.

Dear Rafael Benitez,

I'm calling your bullshit. You said the following earlier today:

"It's more difficult because after two years of Chelsea winning the league and spending big money, United needed to do the same. They started spending big money and Arsenal were also spending big money on young players. We are trying to do the same but because they are continuing to spend big money, it makes it more difficult to catch up ... We will try to do our best and the key for me is to not talk about the title."

Bull. Shit. Your teams, pound for pound, aren't good enough. You haven't bought well. You haven't coached well. You haven't looked cool doing it. But one thing you certainly HAVE done is spend money. You can't chalk it up to that oh Goatee-ed One. Other than Chelsea*, you've spent every bit as much getting significantly less out of your buys. Let's see:

Rafa's Big Buys (in Pounds):
Torres 22m
Mascherano 18.6m
Babel 11.25m
Alonso 10.5m
Kuyt 9m
Crouch 7m
Lucas Levia 7m
Morientes 6.9m
Pennant 6.7m
Bellamy 6.5m
Skrtel 6.5m
Luis Garcia 6.1m
Reina 6m
Agger 5.8m
Sissoko 5.3m
Benayoun 4.5m
Arbeloa 2.5m

Overall outlay? 142m. An average of 35.5m pounds a season. And of all the buys, maybe two great ones? Torres was hardly a visionary buy but proved to be an extremely good one. Mascherano is a solid buy but 18.6m is steep for a central midfielder. Babel, Skrtel and Agger are ones for the future. Other than that, what did you get for your 142m, Rafa? I can tell you.

2004-2005: 5th (37 points off the pace)
2005-2006: 3rd (9 points off the pace)
2006-2007: 3rd (21 points off the pace)
2007-2008: 4th (11 points off the pace)

What did big spending Arsenal and Man Utd spend over this period? I just happen to have that on hand as well.

Since 2004:
United: 107m (Rooney, Van Der Sar, Evra, Park, Vidic, Carrick, Nani, Anderson, Hargreaves, Tevez)
Arsenal: 53m (Almunia, Flamini, Walcott, Rosicky, Hleb, Adebayor, Denilson, Fabianski, Eduardo, Diarra, Sagna)

Rafael Benitez, you got served.

*-The irony of a Chelsea fan serving up a diatribe on transfer dollars spent is not lost on me. However, Chelsea inflate their own transfer fees by not exercising patience and by the simple fact that everyone knows that they can pay high prices. We payed 21m for Shaun Wright-Phillips. I mean, come on. Our squad could have been assembled for much less but it simply wasn't. We're owned by a Russian oligarch. We're in the business of paying a lot. Get over it. And it doesn't change the fact that Rafa Benitez is a total douche.

Make It Rain on them...Potential Transfer Targets.

The Guardian has a list of potential transfer targets for Chelsea and United. Let's have a look see:

Chelsea:

RAFAEL VAN DER VAART 25
Have never seen him play. Have heard wonderful things. Think the last thing we need is another midfielder unless we're moving to a four (or five) man midfield. Even so, bringing him in to a central role would force either Ballack or Lampard out on the wing while leaving even less room for Essien and Mikel (who, along with Kalou, is Chelsea's most important young player to develop). Next.

KAKA 26
Not gonna happen. Would be a great guy to sit behind the strikers in a 4-3-1-2 or a good second striker if we're only going to play one up top. But, realisitically, he doesn't fit into a system built around a strong central striker and doesn't leave much room for Ballack or Lampard surging forward from midfield. It would take 50m+ pounds and a complete change of philosophy (and a purge of some key personnel) to accommodate him--neither of which seem entirely realistic.

KLAAS JAN HUNTELAAR 24 (and the usual suspects--VILLA (26), ROBINHO (24) and QUARESMA (24))
By all accounts, Robinho is on his way. Buying guys (Bosingwa included) before you install a new manager seems strange and risky and strange but I guess Peter Kenyon knows best. Robinho is a solid buy (though I'm not sure is he's worth 25m+) if he can work in with Cole and whoever is playing striker. He's a proven scorer from the second striker position and should be able to drift out on the wing and be, hopefully, more effective than Malouda. Villa and Huntelaar seem dependent on the futures of Drogba and Anelka (whose position gets more shaky by the day). While I like to delude myself into believing that Drogba is staying, this and other articles suggest otherwise. Strange to think he might leave against his own will. It'd be a shame and Kenyon would be a fool to let it happen. Unless we're dealing Cole (or not signing Robinho), Quaresma seems surplus to requirements.

SERGIO RAMOS 22
Put off the Ramos signing for a few years and, instead, make sure Carvalho will stick around. He's consistently as good or better than Terry and letting him go would be a big mistake. In two years, Ramos will have surely fallen out of favor at Real (isn't that what happens to all defenders in Madrid?) and we can buy him when he's a more mature defender for less money. Problem solved.

Manchester United:

IGOR AKINFEEV 22
Who knows? They've already got one of the top young keepers in England in Ben Foster (if he can stay healthy) so it seems a little redundant. But Kuszczak is shit so maybe it's not such a bad idea.

DANI ALVES 25 (along with MICAH RICHARDS (19) and ALEKSANDR ANYUKOV (25))
They need a right back--for god's sake, they played Wes Brown there in the Champions League Final. I don't see Richards crossing Manchester and, if Alves were coming to England, I think he would've already signed for Chelsea or Liverpool (what a crush Rafa had on him!). I wish I had watched the UEFA Cup so that I knew anything about Anyukov (who plays for Zenit) but, alas, I did not because it was the UEFA Cup.

MIGUEL VELOSO 22 (and two guys from Zenit who are, also, presumably holding midfielders)
Arsenal are also fond of this prospect from Sporting Lisbon. Considering that United are pretty well suited at that position (with both Carrick and Hargreaves signed to long term deals), I'm going to say that Arsenal are the favorites. They can't seriously expect for Gilberto to play there next season, can they?

WILSON PALACIOS 23 & LUIS ANTONIO VALENCIA 22
I like that The Guardian only grouped these two together because they both play for Wigan, not because they play the same position or anything. Palacios makes more sense because, someday, Paul Scholes is going to retire and they need someone who can go forward from midfield. But I'm not sure either are really good enough, certianly not Valencia. Can anyone really see him getting a game over Ronaldo or Nani? Nope? Moving on.

LUIS FABIANO 27 (along with the usual suspects BERBATOV (27) and ETO'O (27))
Fabiano is supposedly available for 8.6m pounds which is ridiculous. That's Arsenal money. A solid player and I'd be surprised if they get him for anything less than 15m (a price which very well may push them out of the market). Berbatov and Eto'o are no surprise. But, it seems like if Berbatov were going to happen, it already would've. And Eto'o seems a much more likely target for Chelsea--I can't see him happily splitting time with Rooney or Tevez. However, he'll probably end up at Inter; Jose's always been keen on him.