Could They? Might They? (or the Delusions of a Chelsea Fan)

It's been a good day for delusional Chelsea fans everywhere. Why? See below:

1. I think Cristiano Ronaldo's god-pater is my new best friend.

"I believe that he has decided he is going to Real Madrid but he is not going to say so until after the European Championship."

His mom is pretty cool too:

"Madrid is my team, the best team in the world, and I'd like him to go there. I love Madrid and I would go and live with him."

Look, I want to like Cristiano Ronaldo. He's pretty unconditionally awesome. I just might cheer for Portugal in Euro 2008. But when he puts on a United Jersey, I can't help but hope that he breaks both his legs. And arms. And neck.

If he went to Madrid, I'd be excited. I like Real Madrid. Let me rephrase that--I have no reason not to like Real Madrid. We haven't met them in the Champions League in recent memory, they haven't taken any of our players or targets of consequence (I'm looking at you Arjen Robben), they're sworn enemies of Barcelona with whom Chelsea have some bad blood. So all pretty good, right? He could go to Madrid, be the best player in the world, score tons and tons and tons of goals and I could be like, "Aw, shucks, Ronaldo. You're so cheeky and fun!" It would be awesome. I'd be a little bummed not to get to see him every week but, you know, he might just be enough to convince me to get Gol TV.

Needless to say, signing the best player in the world would be a pretty good signing for Real. It would probably end the Madrid careers of at least a couple of guys. I can't see both Robinho and Baptista staying on (and getting playing time) with Ronaldo around. Even Drenthe might be in trouble.

I'm not even going to let the silent fear of what Sir Alex Ferguson could do with 50-80m pounds enter my mind. This is too exciting.

2. I've already blogged about Mourinho coming home to Stamford Bridge. I can't think of anyone better for the job. Mancini isn't proven in Europe. Rijkard is out of vogue. Ladrup is too inexperienced (and has fallen completely out of the frame). Big Phil Scolari is untested in club football. Guus is old. Mark Hughes has no European experience. Roy Keane used to play for United. Is there no one else?

Yes there is. There's this good looking Portugese I know. He's snarky, he argues with children, all he does is win. His name is Jose Mourinho and he is awesome. If there's one advantage he has over all the rest, it is his ability to keep this squad together. It seems increasingly likely that Lamps is following Drogba out the door and heading quickly for Mourinho-land. Goodbye 35 goals a year. Mourinho could unite the core of the squad we already have and would likely be given enough of a budget to go after targets to plug the few remaining holes (probably Eto'o or McCarthy, maybe a winger with Malouda going out the door, a new keeper as cover for Cech). The one dealing that has already been done must have made Mourinho smile: Bosingwa is a Portugese who used to play at FC Porto--is there a more Mourinho buy than that?

Now, if it were just me, I'd dismiss it. But Chelsea Blog agrees. Come on Jose. Make my summer. Please.

Among Chelsea fans, there also seems to be growing support for Martin O'Neill. He seems like Diet Jose to me--still very fiery and entertaining and seems to have great control over the training ground. He surely has earned a shot at a big club and, if we can't have Mourinho, I'd love to be the club to give him that shot.

So Ronaldo, go. Mourinho, come. It's really very simple.