Landon Donavon? Starting?

Yes. He is. The NY Times Soccer Blog has asked me to name my starting XI for the US/England friendly and I think I just might. Yes, it's a friendly. More importantly, yes, it's a friendly between two teams who don't figure at all on the international stage (yeah, that's right, England. You heard me). But, it's better than following transfer rumors for another day (other than the extremely exciting rumor that Barcelona want to buy Malouda. Buy him! FOR MONEY!) or speculating who's going to replace Grant at Chelsea. So here goes my favorite futile exercise--expending time and energy on the US National Team:

(4-4-1-1...with the option to turn into a 4-2-3-1 with Dempsey and Beasley pushing up right behind the striker)

GK: Howard
DEF: Cherundolo, Bocanegra, Onyewu, Pierce
MID: Dempsey, Bradley, Clark, Beasley
FW: Donavon
ST: Johnson

I have to admit, I know nothing about the defenders outside of Bocanegra and Onyewu. I picked Cherundolo and Pierce because they seem to have played recently for the national team and both are European-based (which counts for something, I suppose). The problem in picking American defenders to me is that none of them seem to have a real position. Even Bocanegra, one of our longest serving players on the national team, can't nail down a spot--he plays fullback for Fulham (who apparently released him, according to the ever-reliable Wikipedia) but seems only to play center half for the national team of late, despite the fact that he used to play fullback. The lack of specialization is not good: does anyone think John Terry would stand to be shifted to
right back? Hell, Jamie Carragher retired from international football rather than play fullback.

Bradley, despite the protests of some of my closest friends (one of whom should be on this blog shortly), is going to anchor my midfield for the next 8-10 years if I'm coaching this side. He's a good tackler, good passer and a smart player. He's extremely solid and he's not Claudio Reina so he gets my vote. Ricardo Clark is energetic and still young--I figure I'll give him a run-out against England and see how he does. Dempsey and Beasley are no-brainers because we really have no wingers. Both have played great for the national team and have the ability to pull goals out of nowhere. Maybe DaMarcus can recover that World Cup Korea form.

Now, the biggest point of contention--Landycakes. I don't like him. I don't like him as a player. I don't think I'd like him as a person. I get an inappropriate amount of joy out of this:



Beasley's gotta take that one himself. Anyway, I think he's a miserable person and kind of a pansy but who else are we going to put here? Who's going to score goals? No one. Donavon, sadly enough, is the best soccer player in the States and we're stuck with him. Believe me, I'd rather play Adu here but, c'mon, let's not get ridiculous.

I'd put Altidore up top if I had my choice but he's not in the squad. What we need is a target man and we don't really have one. I suppose Jaqua's a big target but he's more shit than anyone in the squad so Johnson gets it by default. Congrats Eddie. Score some goals and maybe someone will show you some respect.

I don't even think the game is on in the States. Hooray. Go America.

EDIT: I just realized I left out an explanation of why I picked Timmy. Because he's awesome. It was so obvious I forgot to write it. My apologies, Mr. Howard. You're one of the few who's actually fit to wear the shirt.