Weird Guy of the Week

Man United Asst. Manager and Grade-A Douchebag Carlos Queiroz said this today re: Real Madrid pursuing Cristiano Ronaldo:

"Cristiano Ronaldo will never be Spanish, as they will never take Olivenca again. They already did the same with Christopher Columbus, and it now seems they want to naturalise Cristiano Ronaldo. Have they already forgotten what we did to them in the past? We will never lose our patience.

It's being done in a manner to distract the Portugal team, at the height of their preparations for the European Championships. But I am convinced that despite pressure from the Spanish sporting press he will not accept to change his nationality. However, it is an attack with a well-defined strategy and Portugal should be worried about that."

First of all, huh? Second of all, what? Third of all, huh?

Okay, here's what we learned:

1. Cristiano Ronaldo is like the small Portuguese border town of Olivencia in that he belonged to Portugal between the years of 1297 and 1801. Since then, there had been a dispute over who Ronaldo belongs to. It's a touchy subject for both nations.
2. Real Madrid once tried to sign Christopher Columbus.
3. Apparently, the Portugese did something totally bad ass to Real Madrid in the past. Too bad the Madridistas have apparently forgotten.
4. The Portuguese National Team have some sort of learning disability. Otherwise, why would a club trying to sign a player--something that happens literally EVERY day--qualify as a distraction?
5. Real Madrid (all of them, even their Portuguese defender Pepe) want Portugal to lose in Euro 2008.

What we didn't learn:

1. Why Carlos Queiroz thinks that Real Madrid trying to buy the BEST PLAYER IN THE WORLD is some symbol that they're trying to get Ronaldo to betray his country. I mean, geez man, has anyone even mentioned that? Is that a thing? Did the English secretly try to naturalize Ronaldo when he signed for United? God forbid Italy gets into the fray.

Carlos Queiroz, I think you might be kind of a weird guy.